This weekend I took a 1 credit hour weekend course through Covenant called Gospel Centered Parenting. For the class I am reading these two books: Grace Based Parenting and Shepherding a Child's Heart. Here are some things I learned:

Read Psalm 78

Why does God put us in families?

*for creational purposes: to fill the Earth and subdue it.
*for redemptive purposes: for our faith to carry on to our children, then their children, etc.
*for covenantal purposes: our relationship reflects God's relationship to us (his children)
*for sanctifying purposes: so we can see how sinful we are, what our hearts are unwilling to confess
*the structure of a family is reflective of the body of Christ (like a mini body of Christ)


This is not in an organized fashion at all, but here are a few other things I learned...

*As a parent it's important to tell your children "When you see me contradict what's in the Bible (a pattern of sins) tell me!" This is dangerous and risky, but also training a child to see their parent loving and showing repentance.

*Parenting can be missional- a family that seeks to honor God is a witness



*What is Grace Based Parenting?

-As recipients of God's grace we model repentance, love patiently and remind children of our unconditional status in Christ.

-also, allowing for error while compelling toward obedience.

-loving your children in word and deed because of who they are and not what they do!

-acknowledging our need for God's grace while displaying grace to our children

-learning to communicate and love the child where they are: entering into their world

-based on how God has extended His love to us, we reflect and live out toward children what we have received from God (those who know God well are the best parents)



Deuteronomy 6:1-25
*So that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you and so that you may enjoy life long...

*Don't forget who God is-how he relates to us-reflects on to children-remember who you are in Christ

*parenting is fundamentally about our walk with the Lord

*model forgiveness with your spouse in front of children

*we should have devotional time with children, but also live a devotional way of life

*we CAN NOT protect our children from suffering and hardship--just explain there are things that should not be happening, but that does not mean God isn't present.

*Remind children that "God is good, faithful and perfect even though we can't show you that"(because we are not always good, faithful and perfect)

*keep a prayer list---show them how God answers prayers, help them to see God's faithfulness

I thought this was a great way to simplify praying with children:

Tell God one thing you're thankful for. (thankfulness)
Tell God one thing you're sorry for. (confession)
Tell God one person you want Him to be with or one person we can pray for! (intercession)

Ephesians 6

*sometimes in family situtations redemptive conflict is better than passivity
*it's important to protect your children in certain situations and sometimes that might mean being hated by your family and friends if they don't agree

*But we can't protect them from suffering



Model discipline after God's love for us

Hebrews 2:11, Proverbs 23

the rod has a means to the heart.

*Spanking is a potant medicine. It should be administered with great care by mature adults with the right care.

-Not every child will need to be disciplined with spanking.

-Since not every family looks the same and not every child is the same, not every child will need to be disciplined the same way. And every family will discipline differently and that's okay.

-Discipline should not be punitive, but corrective.

-It's important to put love and care for your spouse before love and care for your children.

-Don't compare your kids with other kids!
-People always have goals for their kids to be obediant, successful and smart. What about wanting your child to be grace centered? (this is more important)

*children shouldn't be sheltered from suffering (the things God's going to teach them)

-Grandparents come under the authority of parents with their children. This is wise because parents know their own children better than grandparents.

Family and Ministry- Ephesians 4



What is the priority?

Family or Ministry?

We are called to both...

Not to neglect family in the name of ministry and not to neglect ministry in the name of family.

At times you have to sacrifice family for ministry and at times you have to sacrifice ministry for family.

You should keep the boundry walls low not high.

Families can do ministry together--hospitality (ex. inviting someone in your home for a meal or a holiday)



Hope for Your Children

Law Oriented Home
1. My performance and training will produce godly children.
2. Demand for perfection on one hand, not kind of behavior on the other
3. Usually less discipline and more naggiving
4. Outward behavior important: Deal with surface problems
5. Too many rules, and often a new set for each new situation
6. Depressed if you feel you have failed and proud if you've done well as a parent
7. Deal with problems out of guilt
8. Judge before listening and getting all the facts
9. Suffering proves I have done something wrong, therefore try to protect children from suffering and pain.

A Gospel Centered Home
1. Faith in God's promises to feed and clothe my family
2. Faith in God's promises to save my children as the gospel is presented
3. Free to accept the child the way he is and faith to believe the Spirit will bring the changes needed
4. Knowing that grace enables me to teach my children, and also knowing that suffering and discipline are God's means of grace.
5. Remember that discipline though important and necessary does not take away sins, but it is God's way of dealing with child's conscience.
6. Free to give praise, appreciation, and approval
7. Free to ask for forgiveness and free to give it
8. Willing to accept failure
9. Trusting in the Holy Spirit to work on root problems



Hope for Your Marriage

Law Oriented Home
1. Nagging will change the other person.
2. Demand the other live up to my standards and when they do not then become critical and judgmental.
3. Lack of confidence int he promises of God
4. I'm justified by faith but sanctified by works.
5. I don't understand grace, therefore, I do not give it.
6. A life style of excuse making, blame shifting, defensiveness, and complaining.
7. Expect our mates to be for us what only Christ can do.
8. Problem centered rather than Christ centered

Gospel Oriented Home
1. Grace enables: I am forgiven. I will have a life style of forgiveness
2. Grace teaches: I am not condemned by God, therefore, I do not condemn my mate
3. I believe that God will change me by taking the beam out of my eye, and that he will change my mate as I pray.
4. I can not listen.
5. Grace enables me to accept him (her) as they are.
6. I can honor, praise and appreciate.
7. Grace enables to treat with courtesy.
8. As I learn how God communicates with me, I can communicate with my mate.



Those are a few things I learned from this weekend. It helps me to process it all by typing it out! As I complete the books, assignments, and papers I will add some other things I am learning to my blog...