It's a new year! A lot of people are posting New Year's resolutions on their blogs lately. Honestly I don't have any New Year's resolutions. The only thing I would like to change in my life right now is my job, but I can't complain...CMS is obviously where I am supposed to be, although sometimes, I don't understand my purpose there. I know God has a reason for me being there....but I don't understand what it is!!!

Last semester, I feel like I had a glimpse of my purpose, when one of my sweet six grade boys was called the "n" word. It was the worst thing I had ever seen a child go through. It took me about twenty minutes to figure out what was wrong with him. He was so ashamed that he wouldn't even tell me what she said. He hung his head in shame and as tears streamed down his face, he told me about his first experience with racism and it happened in my classroom. While my student was hanging his head in shame, I took him in my office and told him he could sit there until the principal came to my room. I knew he was embarrassed and didn't want to be seen crying in front of the whole class.

As I dialed the principal's number, tears streamed down my face. I have seen kids say the most vulgar, inappropriate things this year, but it has never made me feel as sad and angry as I felt in that moment. And what made it even worse was the fact that the student who called him that completely denied it to my face and the principals face. It was horrible. There was no punishment or consequence for the student who called that little boy the "n" word.

Reflecting on that moment, I know I should pray for both of these students. The girl who called him that terribly offensive word was probably influenced by someone older than her. She also has had many other behavior problems that indict she has a lot of stuff going on at home.

I want to show my students how to treat each other with kindness, and how to think outside of the situations they are in. I want to teach these kids basic social skills and to show them that there is a way out of their lives of poverty, but I know I can't do that with my own strength. Please pray for me. Please pray that God will use me as witness to these children through my actions and how I handle situations in the classroom.

Legally, I am not supposed to talk about God in the classroom, but the day after the racism incident in my class I felt compelled to tell him the truth. I had prayed so much for him. He needed to know he was valued and appreciated and that he was created by God! So the next day I took him aside and I said, "Amar(not the student's real name), no matter what anyone tells you, I like you just the way you are. God created you in his image and he thinks you're wonderful. He created you and loves you! There is nothing you should be ashamed about, no matter what anyone says."

I know I am going to have many trials ahead in this semester, sometimes I feel like my classroom is a battlefield. Please, please pray for me!!!